In the course of 24 hours, I was pooped on, thrown up on and had coffee spilled all over me.
I can only claim blame for the latter.
Did I have a wild night of debauchery?
I was just hanging out with a baby code-named Buttercup. Known in some circles as my niece.
As it stands in this battle of non-epic proportions, it’s baby = 2, minimalist = 0.
building up a defence
I can’t really blame Buttercup. She doesn’t know I’m a minimalist. She probably doesn’t even know she’s a baby.
Perhaps it was just her way of telling me that she didn’t like my dress. How was she to know It was the only one that I packed for our little sleepover?
What’s a minimalist to do? I can’t live in fear of an infant.
So I came up with a few
weapons ideas to protect myself – I mean my clothes. Maybe some of you new recruits like me will find these useful too.
- Receiving blanket. This is an obvious solution. New parents have like a gazillion of these. So it’s what I generally use when I’m holding Buttercup . . . especially if she’s just been loaded with ammunition (aka breast milk).
- Scarf. But if there isn’t a receiving blanket handy or you feel uncomfortable asking for one, you could always use a scarf strategically placed in the most likely target areas. It’s much easier to clean a scarf than a whole outfit or to go without wearing the scarf if it gets spit up on.
- Handkerchief. If you don’t have a scarf on you because it’s say, summer, you could use a handkerchief. I’ve recently purchased my first handkerchief, so I could always use that instead (once I feel comfortable actually using it in public and not just at home). You can also wave it in surrender in the event of a full on attack.
- Apron. I think this one will come more into play as Buttercup gets older and I need complete body protection. I don’t even want to think about sticky fingers. Scary.
- Dedicated outfit. I generally wear the same dress when I know I’m coming for a visit. It’s a dress that I’m planning on donating soon, so if it were to get wrecked, I wouldn’t be that sad about it.
- Pajamas. When I’m staying over for a weekend visit with Buttercup, I usually change into my pajamas when we’re inside. I save my clothes for when we go out somewhere. This is helpful when I’ve only packed one outfit.
The above seems to be working. We haven’t had any additional retaliation. But I know that she’s just waiting until my guard is down to strike. I can see the glint in her eye (the right one).
Of course, if I had to be puked on, I can’t think of anyone that I’d rather do it.
This might be one battle not worth fighting.